A King's Apology
by Fairyflights
Summary: As he lies gasping and bleeding on the cursed ground of Svartalfheim, Loki realises something important...


_**A/N Hello everyone! This story is set in Thor: The Dark World. This is an AU where Loki actually dies in the end (unlike in the story). I have tried to interpret his last utterances.**_

 _ **Some points to consider:**_

 **a)** _ **the bold italicised dialogues are actual dialogues present in the movie which are used as flashbacks in the story.**_

 **b) the bold dialogues are actual dialogues present in the movie as well. However they are uttered by the characters in the story.**

 **c)** _the simply_ _italicised sentences are Loki's own thoughts._

 _ **I hope you people won't find it confusing…**_

* * *

 **A King's Apology**

' _ **A king?!...'**_

Loki feels the blade pierce his weak armour and slice through his innards. It is agony. He thuds to the ground, his mouth open in a silent scream of pain. All his senses are suddenly sharpened to a razor edge. Each piece of gravel feels like the point of a knife sticking to his back. He can hear the anguished cry of Thor from afar –

' **NO!'**

He can hear the frightened gasp of the tiny Midgardian. He can see the blade sticking out of the Kurse's chest.

' **See you in hell, monster** ,' he rasps out.

He can feel the rising panic as the Kurse tries to detach himself from the _void_. And cannot.

' _ **You might want to take the stairs to the left…'**_

Loki tries to take a shuddering breath. It is like being pierced by the poisoned elfish blade all over again. His magic is nothing against the Aether. His wounds won't heal, try as he might. They bleed, draining his veins, draining his life-blood, seeping into the cursed ground of Svartalfheim.

' _ **A true king admits his mistakes…'**_

Mistakes. He had made many. Yet there's but one he regrets…

' _ **HE IS NOT MY FATHER!'**_

' _ **Then am I not your mother?'**_

 _ **A pause. Then – 'You're not…'**_

Loki closes his eyes and tries to take another deep breath but ends up taking small gasps. Pain, white hot, slices through him like Thor's thunder. Did she have to suffer as much, he wonders. _Forgive me_ , he whispers to her, _this is the only way I could apologize_.

He can feel the earth shudder under Thor's heavy footfalls. He feels himself being lifted carefully and cradled in his arms. Arms that are strong and steady. That won't fail Asgard…

' **No no no no.'**

…yet Thor's eyes are uncertain. Scared. Agonized. Tearful.

' **Oh you fool! You didn't listen!'**

Yes, he realizes, he is a fool. A fool for being jealous. A fool for uttering lies…

' _ **Father is dead…'**_

A fool for trying to be worthy in the Allfather's eyes.

' _ **I could have done it, Father…I could have done it. For you…for all of us…'**_

A fool for thinking he could ever be like Thor. His best friend. His worst enemy. His brother.

' _ **I never wanted the throne. I only ever wanted to be your equal…'**_

Now he knows. He never had a chance.

Loki takes a few short gasps.

' **I know** ,' he says, ' **I'm a fool…I'm a fool**.'

' **Stay with me, ok?** ' his brother implores.

And Loki sees it's all futile. He cannot keep his request. His limbs feel cold and heavy. Like he's back in cold, icy Jotunheim. He doesn't have much time left. He must apologise now.

' _ **A true king admits his mistakes…'**_

 _I'm sorry_ , he utters in his mind, _I'm sorry for leading the Kurse to mother. I'm sorry for destroying New York…_

' **I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…** '

… _for trying to destroy Jotunheim. For sending the Destroyer after you. For trying to be your equal and not the brother you wanted me to be…_

He struggles to remember the rest of his mistakes.

His brother only shushes him. ' **It's alright** ,' he croons, his eyes swimming with tears.

Will he grieve for me as he did for Bauldr, Loki wonders. Thor's little brother. No… _their_ little brother, Bauldr. He'll see him soon.

There is very little pain left now. He is numb and cold all over.

 _I did it, Mother_ , he speaks to her. _I did it. For you…for all of us._

And his mother smiles, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Her hair, that rich coil of golden brown, glistening in the light of Valhalla, its walls gleaming as it catches the last rays of a sun bidding farewell to the star studded night sky.

' _Come, my son,' she whispers, holding out her hands, just as in his prison, 'it's time to let go…_ '

' **I'll tell Father what you did here today**.'

The vision dissolves as Thor's voice breaks in.

And for the first time, Loki looks into his brother's eyes and realizes the truth. That he was never Laufey's son. He was never Odin's son.

' **I didn't do it for him…** '

But he was and always will be… Frigga's son.

ooooooo

 _ **Please review! This is my first Thor fanfiction…**_


End file.
